Humble Pie

We preachers need to listen more to our own words. I've always preached the importance of self care. If we who care for the needs of others, do not care for our own needs, we will not be able to care well for anyone. I've always tried to teach others the importance of self care - that it's not selfish to put time for ourselves on our "to do" list.

This past week was "one of those weeks." Some of the week was made of those out of the ordinary things - that happens sometimes in ministry. But for the most part, the things scheduled into my week were of my own doing. Good things - connectional, relational things - things that were part of my effort to build relationship with the people of Christ Church and the community -- in addition to the usual things I do every week in ministry - sermon prep, Bible study, visitation, counseling, staff meetings, etc.

I guess it started 2 weeks ago, when I had my first wedding in Christ Church. What that means is that between September 16 and September 29, I did not have a day off. Fourteen days with no real "down time." I had a little last Sunday when my husband Steve insisted that we go to Chautauqua Institution for the quilt show and he whisked me away after church. But let's face it - Sunday for preachers is NOT a day off, nor our sabbath rest time.

Yesterday was my first real day off in 2 full weeks. Yesterday, I arranged to meet our daughter during her lunch break from work so that we could have lunch together - just the two of us. As I was driving there, I passed Niagara Village Senior Community Center on Zuck Road and it hit me. I had forgotten to go there Thursday at 4 p.m. to lead the worship service that I had agreed to lead. My heart dropped - I felt terrible. How could I have forgotten? It was on my calendar - I was simply on overload and when I came home from hospital visits it never entered my mind to go there. I'll need to call and apologize, and I'm sure they'll understand, but I HATE to miss something - it feels like failure. And, I'll have to eat a little humble pie, because I've been teasing a staff member about missing a meeting earlier this month, even though it was in their planner.

Now, I know the truth - I'm only human and it was one of those things. I know God forgives me and the staff at Niagara Village will most likely forgive me, too. But the question now remains - will I be able to forgive myself?

As followers of Christ, we know our sins are forgiven and most of us try to obey what Jesus taught - to forgive others as we have been forgiven. Why is it we find that we have the hardest time forgiving ourselves? Why is it that we fail to realize that God wants us to forgive ourselves as God has forgiven us - completely and freely. Why do we find it so hard to include ourselves in that list of those whom we need to forgive?

This little incident reminds me that I ought to "practice what I preach." So today I enjoyed a lot more free time. There were things I "should" have been doing - work for the church that I know needs done and that I don't want to get too far behind on. But instead, today I spent some time unpacking some more boxes and settling into our new home - things I'd been putting off because I have been "too busy" for that - and a little resentful that the time's not been there. I took a deep breath and relaxed a bit today. And I took a look at my calendar - a long, hard look and scheduled spaces where there's some "me" time -- some time when I set aside all the things I have "to do" and find spaces where I can just be, in order to refresh my mind, body and spirit.

So, if you know someone who's not taking care of themselves - don't be afraid to "butt in" and remind them that God wants them to care for themselves as well as they care for others. Don't think you'll be butting into their business if you remind them to take some time for themselves -- those of us who need it, will welcome the reminder.

By God's Grace,
Michelle