Our Bishop, Tom Bickerton, is spending time on each of the districts in our Annual Conference. He was with us on the Erie-Meadville District this past Thursday. In general, he spoke about doing those things as a church that will choose life rather than death. One of the things he said pierced my heart. It pierced my heart, because it was a reminder that I needed.
As our Bishop spoke of the church, he said something to this effect: It's not about you. Clergy come and clergy go. Laity come and laity go. The church lives on. The church has been here for thousands of years and will be here long after we come and go.
Those words moved me to tears, because they were very liberating words. For any of us who are conscientious about ministry - for any of us who care about the ministries we are engaged in - for any of us who are concerned about the health of the church --- the truth is that we work very hard so that things go well in the church. Because we care so much and work so hard, we can get to a point where we think it's all up to us; then we work harder and harder thinking that if we make one little mistake, the whole thing comes down like a house of cards -- or -- we think that if we don't do it, it won't get done or done well.
The truth is that we ought to do our best and work hard at what we do - but it's not about us. We serve and are members of our churches, but they are NOT our churches. They are God's churches, and since God is always in control, we can relax a little from our labors from time to time. Since God is always in control, that means that we can freely take time to rest, time to play, time to sleep, time to enjoy the fullness of this life that God has graced us with.
With that in mind, I spent a lot more time with my family this weekend and doing some things that simply needed done in our home. Today, for instance, I spent some time weeding out the garden area in the backyard of the parsonage today. Since we moved here in July, a little late for planting season, we've not done much with the area. We haven't done much -- but that hasn't stopped things from happening -- weeds! Lots of them and in 3 months, they've gotten pretty big.
Well, today I plunged in -- in an hour or so I cleared out about 3/4 of the weeds. It's very therapeutic to r-i-p weeds out by the roots (especially if you're frustrated!). At the end of my efforts, something was accomplished. It reminded me of why I need to keep my hobbies of sewing, quilting and needlework going - my efforts achieve measurable results in a fairly reasonable time period.
I know I'm not receiving enough Sabbath rest when I lay my head on the pillow at night with the work of the church on my mind and when I wake up the next morning, my first thought are all the things I need to do that day --- that's been happening a lot lately.
This weekend I made a deliberate effort to turn it all off and not think about all the things of the church. It's very liberating to know it's not all about me -- it's about God. God's grace at work in a "garden" full of weeds - a place where I was able to vent my frustrations, accomplish a much needed task and shut off my brain from thinking about all the "to-do" lists. So tonight I'll lay my head on the pillow, ready for rest and know that God is taking care of the church.
By God's Grace,
Michelle
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3 comments:
Thanks for that, sister. You hit me hard.
Michelle...although it is true that clergy come and go, it doesn't mean that we should be grist to be ground under the wheels of the institutional church either.
I do a lot of work with pastors who have been badly hurt by the mindset that clergy are all interchangeable. They often feel dehumanized, depressed and burned out, but they also have a sense that they do not matter to the system.
We as a church kill our wounded. The mindset that it is not about us, applies to our service, but not our personhood. We matter to God as much as the people we serve.
I'm not being critical of you. I agree in part with what you wrote. I just thought I'd offer some food for thought.
Randy,
I absolutely agree with you. And thanks for the points you make. And there have been times in my ministry that I have felt dehumanized, depressed & burned out. Somewhat by the system, but to the largest extent in some of the churches that I've served -- where I didn't matter to the people. I was treated as the "hired gun" with no authority and the expectation that it was up to me to save a dying church.
I have seen colleagues who develop a "christ-complex" - thinking that without them the church would cease to exist.
Thanks for clarifying the point that "it's not about us" applies to our service and not our personhood. I appreciate making us think a little deeper on the issues, Randy. Your point is well taken -- how are we feeding and caring for the shepherds of our flocks?
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